Dear True Blood Writing Staff

Author: Vivid Muse  //  Category: TV

Thank you for finally making Tara interesting, even if she ends up boring again.

Please show more shirtless Eric and Sam. I mean, it’s hot and humid in Bon Temps,

Thank you for the Eric and Pam (back) story. He’s actually more than eye candy to me now. And she is far more exquisite than I ever knew, and she’s been my fave female since season 1.

And never, ever kill Lafayette, Pam or Sam. Also, Eric is close to making the list. Be careful there.

Vampire snuggles,
Viv

PS: iStake? ZOMG, so funny, well done!

********

Note to those that are about to comment about spoilers: It’s your own fault if you haven’t watched the first episode of the season to know that Tara survived and still followed this link with that title.

Fave New Album Title

Author: Vivid Muse  //  Category: Music, No Whining, Too Long For Twitter

When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold by Atmosphere.

~~~
Naughty Bear (21 y.o. son) played a song or two from this album during our Philly trip, and I frakkin’ LOVE the album title. I don’t recall anything else about what the music was like or if I even liked it. Hell, I had to Google it to make sure I had it right.

I’m not saying I actually want to superficially improve something (painting) rather than attempting to truly improve something that I don’t like, for whatever reason. But I still love the title. It clearly and simple simply instructs you to take an action, rather than sitting around complaining and waiting for someone to fix it for you.

So, when life gives you lemons, you: mend it, replace it, get rid of it, break into the emergency funds, burn it, whatever — as appropriate, natch. But…

Manage that mischief!

Handle that shit!

Yeah, it’s definitely the commanding motivation to DO SOMETHING that I appreciate. Sometimes that will mean walking to the pharmacy for a pain pill prescription refill, allowing yourself to grieve something unpleasant to fight your way back to healthy mindset, taking a tiny space and making it work, getting on a plane, not getting on a plane– again, whatever.

And for <insert deity, deities, or complete lack of either)’s sake, COMMIT. Really really really COMMIT. Don’t waste anyone’s time by half-assing. FULL-ASS IT! Yes, you may still fail, but you failure shall be glorious and well-earned rather than something that just kinda happened to you.

So, um, yeah. That’s my fave new album title.

Definition I Didn’t Know: Mediatrix

Author: Vivid Muse  //  Category: Too Long For Twitter

 

My therapist suggested that I Google the term “Mediatrix,” after we had yet again discussed my exhausting and irrepressible compulsion to make sure all the emotional needs of the people I love are being met (A clue for Dear Readers as to one of the reasons I’m in therapy- I’m frakkin’ exhausted and overwhelmed.), easier before the Health Blahs (as I call the litany of diagnoses I’ve collected: Vestibular Migraines, TMJ (I think I cracked my recent crown thanks to jaw clenching, yay!) , RMSF and newly added Fibromyalgia). I tend to have near-complete disregard for what my needs are, both emotionally and physically.

At Therapist T-Pain’s mention of the word, I perked up and proclaimed the title “Mediatrix” as mine with the definition unknown, based on my lifelong love of all media and recent experience in the New Media frontier. Plus, it sounded geekily exotic!

Here’s the actual definition:

me·di·a·trix

[mee-dee-ey-triks] (Note: Pronunciation focuses on the word ‘mediate’, not media as I initially thought.)

noun, plural me·di·a·tri·ces  [-uh-trahy-seez, -ey-tri-seez] Show IPA, me·di·a·trix·es.

a woman who mediates, especially between parties at variance.
Also, me·di·a·tress, me·di·a·trice  [mee-dee-ey-tris] Show IPA.

Origin:
1425–75; late Middle English  < Late Latin mediātrīx,  feminine of mediātor mediator; see -trix

Usage note
See -ess, -trix.

Dictionary.com Unabridged
Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2012.
Cite This Source

I dunno if I think I am a mediatrix, but I guess it’s something to ponder. I have spent a lot of my time playing the damned devil’s advocate, after which my attempts at objective honesty to provide all possible options, usually gets the emotional crap beat out of me at some point in the future. Seems kind of like I have created a compulsion that puts me in the middle of all disagreements, which is pretty dumb for somebody that really just wants to embrace my loved ones, enjoy life and giggle as often as possible.

Nowadays, the medications I take seem to be doing their intended job in sometimes minimizing some side effects, but the full-time fuzzy brain make it harder for me to tell when My Beloveds need an extra little help or lift somehow. Even if I can pick out the shape of their need in my sometimes extremely foggy haze, I am at this point mostly useless to help in ways that Make A Difference, which is actually T-Pain’s goal, although not specifically why I take the medications I do.)

It’s still a particularly difficult with the things going on in loved one’s lives currently, as so many are raw and hurting in some way. Especially, as a bonus to anything the recipient feels, I find it cathartic for myself when I am able to do the little kindnesses. It alleviates my fear that I don’t contribute enough to the world to justify my place in it anymore, and results in feels shame and happiness at the same time. *sigh*

End result, I am taking on less stress as I am meant to, but I miss being there for my friends when they are in need. And then I feel guilty or shamed either way.

I frequently remind myself, now that I have self-banned myself from driving (medication side effects, primarily), that now I officially am The Passenger. The Passenger has input when allowed, but little control. It’s freeing and terrifying, all the same. The new mantra is shorter and reminds me that it’s not a choice, but simply how my life is right now and is a reminder  embrace the inherent freedom and let go of the guilt and shame of not helping others.

Edit – this (June 9) was the second session in 2 days. Now a bi-weekly patient, thanks to my progress! But things have been “exciting” and it’s dredged up some deep dark issues for me.

2nd Edit: I’m now a weekly patient again (June 20). *sigh* It was nice while it lasted, but I am in need of  extra time with all the stuff we have in the air, balancing expectations (ours and others) and maximizing fun time with the kids, while (reminded of need today) making sure I don’t overdo it. HAHAHA, I love that she *still* thinks I can stop myself. Ex: I worked myself so hard the last two weeks getting ready, that I fell asleep early and missed the end of LT’s first night here. Epic Mom Fail.

But tomorrow brings the first official sunburn of the season as we hope the weather lets us head to a local pool. Woohoo!

Collect Call by Metric (Edited 06/20/2014)

Author: Vivid Muse  //  Category: Family, Friends, Too Long For Twitter

Originally posted on June 6, 2012, the edit includes the lyrics and video for enjoyment of the entire song, rather than just the one line with links to buy the album.

Note: This entire album has been a musical obsessions since I first heard it, prior to June 6, 2012, when I posted the original entry without lyrics and video viewable.

Another way of saying what I’ve apparently spent my life doing:

“If somebody’s got soul…You’ve got to make them move.”

“Collect Call”
by Metric (Album: Fantasies)

“Collect Call”

If the fire’s out baby, How you gonna keep me warm?
Supposing you let me, with the door wide open no one can leave

I know its a lie, I want it to be true
The rest of the ride is riding on you
Over goodbyes we’ll buy some place

For wishing you could
Keep me closer, I’m a lazy dancer, when you move I move with you
Keep me closer, I’m a lazy dancer, when you move I move with you

If somebody’s got soul…You’ve got to make them move

I know it’s a lie, I want it to be true
The rest of the ride is riding on you
Over goodbyes we’ll buy some place

For wishing you could
Keep me closer, I’m a lazy dancer, when you move I move with you
Keep me closer, I’m a lazy dancer, when you move I move with you

So, Boobs. I Get It Now!

Author: Vivid Muse  //  Category: Too Long For Twitter

While watching The Daily Show tonight, one of their bits was discussing under representation of Latinos in Hollywood roles. This prompted me to ask Chooch, “Which do you think has it worse in that aspect, Latinos or …

… um …

… Wait …”

I moved closer to the television squinting and trying to focus on the voluptuous female form on an olive oil bottle, now animated and moving about with her softly bouncing curves drawing me closer, saying, “Wait…

… Is this why guys stare at boobs all the time? Cuz I’m positively mesmerized by those boobs. Seriously, I can’t NOT look at them.”

Cue commercial end.

I whipped my head to my husband and asked, “No, really. Is that what it’s like? All the time?”

His reply was, “Boobs are awesome.

So, okay, here’s how I feel right now: After the emotionally charged month I’ve had, with particular attention to the insane amount of inappropriate groping I have halted (A post is being written, trust me.) in the last 2 weeks, I’m now willing to throw you boys a solid.

After seeing this commercial, I now think(?) I understand the fascination. I didn’t before, but now I kinda see how it could grab your eyes and not let go.

HOWEVER, if you are older than 17 years old, ya best curb that inappropriate shit. If it’s not something you’d want to see done to your mother, daughter or sister then don’t do it to someone that has not granted that specific access to you. Just because you want to touch something doesn’t mean you can. And assuming a woman wants to be taken against her will (Jaime Lannister in Season 2, Episode 10) is criminally misunderstanding my gender completely.

I do not stand alone when I say that the boob starers of my age are kept at a wary distance. If you didn’t know that it’s a turn off for most women already, hopefully this post will clue you in.

You should most certainly consider yourself warned when in my presence, both for me and the women in my company. You know how Arya Stark has a list of people she wants to kill? I have a list of men whose testicles I want dangling from a billboard in front of my house to warn others like them to stay away.

And hey, If I come across the commercial anywhere, I’ll link it here. I’m understandably drawing a blank on the name of the company.

Fave New Twitter DM Thread (From Balticon Monday)

Author: Vivid Muse  //  Category: Convention Attendance, Friends, Too Long For Twitter


This conversation is in response to a mesmerizing, yet undocumented (Anyone?!? Please email to me!) event outside of our room on the last official night of Balticon 46.

I am leaving both victim and confirmed perpetrator unidentified unless said parties decide to reveal his, or her, selves.  Or something.

Car F**ker #1 (CF1):   Viv, what happened with the Marriot room?
(CF1, before I replied):   And was (Car Owner)’s car dinged?
Me:   We are just now loading up. Have to pay another night, but we are just now revived, lol!
CF1:   Oh my. You guys crashed out all day?
Me:   I didn’t. I worked on packing since 9 am wake up call came. Could not get the boys moving but for food. PG on the road hour ago?
CF1:  Good boys 🙂 You just gave me a scare that I did something to (Car Owner)’s car last night.
Me:    You mean besides fucking it?
CF1:
  Psychological or physical damage?
Me:  (collapse into giggles at the though of the car or its owner having psychological damage, under the circumstances of the situation)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Balticon 46, I may have been unable to attend 99% of your panels or see all of my friends, but it sure as hell was exciting! And it definitely left a mark. <3