Conversation with my doctor:
Her: You have to remove as many stressors as possible from your life, whether it’s people or situations. It’s damaging your health.
Me: Working on it.
The worst part of my migraines should be the part that I can’t control. You know, doing everything I’m supposed to and still not being able to go to work. Or the financial impact of what my inability to get to work has caused. And yes, I’m having to wave “bye bye” to my secure government job due to the length of the diagnosis and search for effective treatment. *
I’m actually finding that the most challenging part is limiting “voluntary” stressors, primarily in social situations. In recent months, I’ve found that others’ negativity has a measurable impact on me, so I literally have to avoid it. Otherwise, whatever symptoms I’m dealing with intensify and I’m down and out until it feels like passing.
So I’m initiating some changes in my life, one of those is actually trying to express myself as issues arise instead of holding them in. In my family, I’ve frequently been the “peace maker” or “diplomat”, trying to soothe ruffled feathers. Being the one to ruffle them is messy, and I’ve already learned that I own some responsibility for the effects of things having occurred in the past. Not for the hurtful event, but rather letting it fester in me without addressing it and ensuring that it stops.
I’ve gotten a tremendous amount of support, but I’ve also had my words and intentions twisted. I’m not wasting my time on that, and I’ll happily take the “rainbows and sunshine” smart-ass remarks. So far, it’s been a pretty damned good indication of those influences I need to distance myself from, at least for now.
I know a lot of people that are able to have intelligent, thoughtful and fascinating conversations without tearing other people down. I happily spent most of the weekend with a lot of people like that. And not surprisingly I find those to be the people that I have the most fun with. Because, let’s be honest, if you’re around a person that is constantly tearing down other people it’s only a matter of time before they start in on you. If they haven’t already.
And just what do you think the odds are of that?
*For any of you kind and wonderful people that may think there should be a chip-in or fundraising effort, please know that we do not want it. We are blessed in our life, and prefer efforts be helped that are more critical. Hungry kids, cancer cures, homeless shelters, paying down YOUR credit card balance… there are so many other places to send your money!