Friends Too Long For Twitter

Overheard On New Year’s Eve

Edit: I have 24 draft posts. July is the month for catching up and clearing out the buffer, because I have New Thoughts. This is one of them, six months later than intended, but whatevs. It’s been a real mother fucker of a year so far, so I chose this one since it is HILARIOUS to me and anyone that may remember what they said.


After our New Year’s Eve celebrations began, I decided to play a game with the Twitter abbreviation “OH:” meaning that you are repeating something that you overheard.  It may also mean that I said it, but find it funnier to attribute to someone else. Who can tell with me? So, for those with little kids at home on the traditional gathering night, I thought it would be fun for folks to identify whether it was something that I actually overheard or something that I said.

From my Twitter stream on NYE: “Play along or not: I say “OH:”, you guess if I actually overheard it or if I said it myself. Note: If you are with me you cannot play.”

  • OH: “I have been bowtied by John.” (This had an insanely appropriate auto-correct “I have been nurtured by John.”)
  • OH: I am not responsible if you have a bowel movement.
  • OH: It is important that you stay inebriated at all times.
  • OH: I got so excited, I lost my sponge!
  • OH: I have the beaver on my desk!
  • OH: Your armpit was fantastic.
  • OH: It’s true! He sniffed my pimp cup to make sure!
  • OH: Yes, I need a man’s touch. Definitely.
  • Too many OH:’s to type. If anyone is interested I’ll blog them all.

I got a yes, so here are the “Overheard”‘s from my journal that night (wrote them as they were said):

  • I go for the center of the Yin and Yang.
  • If it has to come, it’s best from the butt.
  • I looked at the (microwave) clock to see what time it was, and it said “Ready”.
  • Paraphrased Buddhist saying – He who focuses on how much more he can have misses how good he has it.
  • Scritchin’ and yippin’!
  • I don’t know – something about your stance makes me want to spank you.
  • Wait, my left hand’s not giving you justice.
  • I’ve eaten things most people don’t consider food. Just sayin’.
  • I mean, you can’t not give a blow job.
  • Oh. My. God. He just constricted on me for the 100th time.
  • You know it’s a good party when you can’t find your shoes.
  • I never banana-ed the chocolate (fountain).
  • I’m like the golem of the chocolate fountain. My preciousssssss.
  • It’s all for me, merrrrowwww!
  • I will eat you, bitches!
  • Candy evokes midget, I’m sorry!
  • Who made this bread? Nobilis and Dee? I LOVE them!
  • …(drunken unintelligible muttering overheard)… but that Nobilis sure can make some pepperoni bread…
  • I thought it was okay when it was her hands, not his.

Better late than never? New Years Eve in July is cool, right?