Categories
Chooch Firsts Soulful Uncategorized

Credit Where Credit is Due

My husband and I recently celebrated the our 8th wedding anniversary and our 9th anniversary of our first date. At that time, I reflected on how similar and, in contrast, how different we are. Events in the last month have clarified how much I treasure him and I want to make sure I never take him for granted. Note: while I won’t be going all “Shmooopy!” I will be pontificating on how awesome my mate is. Feel free to roll your eyes and click to another page.

If you don’t already know, one of the things Chooch and I have in common is our extreme social anxiety. The difference is that mine causes me to chatter nervously and his causes him to sit back quietly until he has a level of comfort. Some people perceive me as being extroverted and outgoing and him being withdrawn. In truth, the opposite is true. He is more likely to say yes to unfamiliar social engagements with unknown people. In many cases, I would simply stay in and miss out on the fun without him to urge me out into the world. In fact, that is exactly what he had to do to get me to go to any of the first meet-ups in 2008, including Balticon.

I frequently find myself speaking for both of us in the hopes that people will recognize just how amazing he is. This is a mistake, as it makes it appear as though he is with me, not that we are together, in what we do. Regardless of how it appears, he is NOT my tag-along, just “Viv’s husband” or an accessory. He is Chooch. A singularly magnificent man.

I get really pissed when I think he is overlooked or not getting credit for all he does, for our family and for others. I am shocked that more people don’t get that he is the reason the New Media parties we hosted in 2009 and 2010 were successful, along with countless other things for which I alone have gotten most of the praise. Possibly it’s because he’s busting his ass behind the scenes while I am doing more of the dressing and food prep. Just know that without him, little of what I dream up would actually happen.

To share with you who he is in my eyes, peep this list:

  • the reason that I am able to live in a loving home instead of a homeless shelter, since my health does not allow me to work and my disability was denied;
  • the enabler, builder and code monkey of my mostly goofy/sometimes creative musings;
  • the Yin to my Yang – I am emotional where he is logical and he is emotional where I am logical and I rely heavily on him for balance;
  • the first person that, when I have some hair brained scheme, actually listens and is supportive at the same time he is constructive in criticism and suggestions;
  • the fuel that feeds my craving to continually challenge myself, guiding me away from self-sabotage;
  • the kindest and most loving man I’ve ever known;
  • generous with his income on purchases for my children from a previous marriage, never saying that something they need is not going to be provided;
  • perfect in his imperfections;
  • glorious in his flawed humanity;
  • never out of patience with me, even when he has every right to be.

We recently rescued the ten year old dog of a family member that was no longer able to care for him. Only because my husband was willing, were we able to do the necessities that had been neglected for this loving pet (dental cleaning and removal of a diseased tooth, neutering/biopsy, analysis of a suspicious growth, vaccinations and grooming) that allowed for him to be adopted into an extremely loving family that will give him the best care and attention that could be hoped for any person, let alone animal.

Without Chooch’s generosity, this dog would have likely ended up at the shelter and after evaluation would have been put to sleep because of all his health issues. Especially with how “cage brave” (growling and barking at people) he was in his fear at what was happening. We were EXTREMELY lucky to have had the wonderful staff at the animal hospital, thanks to our future housemate, and the ability to afford to do even those basic necessities. Their kindness and love in taking care of this dog that needed so much and ensuring that he had it along with a healthy dose of love and affection is something I will never forget.

Because of this and countless other reasons, Chooch will always be the man of my dreams. A man that I was lucky enough to ensnare and trick into spending the rest of his life with me. A man that I made pinky swear on camera in front of Kaylee that he won’t die until after I do, because I love him so much that I cannot imagine life without him. She sealed the promise with a lick, by the way. Irrefutable contract in any court in the land, dontchaknow.  (Did you know I was so needy and high maintenance?)

So as the big world continues to rotate around the sun,

as people go about the hustle and bustle of their pre-holiday chaos,

I wake this morning knowing that there is one person that truly knows each and every one of my deep dark secrets, flaws and failings,

and he loves me anyways.

I am the luckiest woman I know.

 

Categories
Books Chooch Friends No Whining Podcast

From the Mouths of Podcasters

As I’ve mentioned here before, I’m part of a group of podcasters talking about the HBO Game of Thrones series, called SpecFicMedia Presents: Beyond the Wall, A Game of Thrones Podcast. Oi, what a mouthful. I’ll just refer to it as BTWPodcast forever more in my personal blog.

As the HBO series season has ended, so has our podcast. For now. During one of the episodes, P.G. Holyfield made an observation about all the plotting and planning over the span of years being undone in an instant by a random and unpredictable event. While I agreed with the point at the time, it didn’t really sink in.

While running and doing a QA listen to the podcast before posting, it hit me like a brick wall. Rather than just knowing that as a fact of life, the concept has been brought home in a very painful way and absolutely resonates with me. No matter how sure your footing, with no regard to the most honorable of your intentions, things happen that can change things forever. If you’re very very lucky, you can recover. If you aren’t, then you have to find a way to move forward, if possible. In both cases, there is likely a price to pay.

Happily, unlike many events in the the book and series, we have landed in a safe and loving place. And while things are not perfect or what I ever would have imagined for myself at the age of 42, I have to say that I think we are recovering pretty well.

Categories
AFI's Top 100 Movies Chooch

The Wild Bunch, #79 on AFI’s Top 100 Films List

Uncle.

I have now attempted to watch this film twice and cannot make it through. My husband agrees and wouldn’t even give it another try.

There is actually nothing that compels me to finish the movie. I feel nothing for the characters or the story. I understand what is happening, I just don’t care enough to finish it.

I’m saddened because I intended to watch every single movie from beginning to end, but cannot expend any more of the rarest of all commodities – time – into this film.

I give the following as explanation for this movie being on the AFI list:

From Wikipedia:
The Wild Bunch is a 1969 American Western film directed by Sam Peckinpah[1] about an aging outlaw gang on the Texas-Mexico border, trying to exist in the changing “modern” world of 1913.

…

The Wild Bunch is noted for intricate, multi-angle editing, using normal and slow motion images, a revolutionary cinema technique in 1969. The writing of Green, Peckinpah, and Roy N. Sickner was nominated for a best-screenplay Academy Award; Jerry Fielding’s music was nominated for Best Original Score; Peckinpah was nominated for an Outstanding Directorial Achievement award by the Directors Guild of America; and cinematographer Lucien Ballard won the National Society of Film Critics Award for Best Cinematography.[2]

In 1999, the U.S. National Film Registry selected it for preservation in the Library of Congress as culturally, historically, and aesthetically significant. The film was ranked 80th in the American Film Institute’s 100 best American films, and the 69th most thrilling film.[3] In 2008, the AFI revealed its “10 Top 10” of the best ten films in ten genres: The Wild Bunch ranked as the sixth-best Western.[4][5]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back to Netflix it goes, as I eagerly await the arrival of Modern Times, my first full-length Charlie Chaplin movie!

While I wait for the post office to bring on the goodness, I will definitely be checking out Christiana and Mike’s discussion on The Wild Bunch as they are always able to find and appreciate things I miss. I guess it’s a damned good thing they are doing a podcast and not me!


Categories
Definitions You Know Mental

Definitions You Know: Powerless

As I mentioned in my last post, I have started therapy. One common thread in the sessions to date relates to my near constant feelings of guilt. I don’t know if it is how I was raised (Catholic, middle child/diplomat), the example set by my Mom (she could fix nearly any situation or problem, if you would just shut up and listen to her) or if it is just *me*, but I feel more guilt in a day than I can count. I actually did try to count one night last week, and had four rushes of guilt in an hour. And this was just light-hearted and fun conversation, not an argument or conflict in any way. There were just things that I wanted to do for loved ones, fix for them, surprise them with, things like that. And I felt guilty because I hadn’t or was unable to make these things happen for them.

When I mentioned this to my therapist yesterday, she assigned me homework that goes against everything I understand and know.  I have to remind myself throughout the day (and every time I feel guilt) that
“I am powerless in fixing things for other people. I can not fix any person, place or situation. I can be present for them to lend support, I can do acts of kindness, I can do fund-raising and any other efforts or attempts to help. But I can not fix it.”

It is completely logical and reasonable, yet it is a string of words that may as well be in a foreign language since I am unable to truly understand and accept it and make it a part of my inner monologue. I have it written on paper and have to constantly re-read it because I can’t memorize it. It is like memorizing a speech in an alien tongue, and will take time. And it doesn’t mean DON’T try to help people. It is simply meant to be a reminder that it is not in my control how much sadness or hardship others have in their life.

I currently have a lot of guilt in not being able to fix problems for a loved one that is weighing on me heavily. I have done a lot, and more than some have told me I should. And it’s entirely due to actions of said loved one, no victim of circumstance there. I am happy to say that I am making a huge difference in a tangential issue as a result of the person’s actions. And I take joy from the impact my husband and I are making on the life of this innocent victim. But… it’s not enough. I feel compelled to fix the whole thing and have been trapped for months in a pit of uselessness and guilt because of my inability to do so. I have literally done everything I can, and it is not enough. Not for me, and not for the person that got themself into this situation. In spite of it being all I can do, I am spiritually crushed under the weight of the guilt.

So I’m going back to the dictionary to re-learn this word. It seems to be at the core of my guilt, and if not, then it is at least a great place to start.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

pow·er·less

From dictionary.com

[pou-er-lis]

adjective

1. unable to produce an effect: a disease against which modern medicine is virtually powerless.
2. lacking power  to act; helpless: His legs crumpled, and he was powerless to rise.
Origin:
1545–55; power  + -less

Related forms
pow·er·less·ly, adverb
pow·er·less·ness, noun

Synonyms
1.  ineffective.
2.  feeble, impotent, prostrate, infirm.

Categories
Chooch Firsts

Not Just Another Tuesday

Today is the fourth anniversary for the podcast my husband and I do, called Into the Blender. When we started out, we had my two sons from a previous marriage living with us and were negotiating the difficulty and hazards of long-distance, as well as navigating the frequently difficult negotiations required when co-parenting with someone that you very likely have massive piles of stinky baggage with.

Our lives have changed in a myriad of ways since that first upload, and it’s impossible to sufficiently explain why it has taken us so long to post a new episode. Our last one was our Live from Balticon! episode in early June. I will overly simplify things by saying that it has been an extremely chaotic summer. More so than any other of my life, save the one immediately following the departure of my now ex-husband. I think we are ready to re-enter the tubes, and I think I speak for my husband as well when I say how grateful I am for the friends and listeners that have asked for new episodes. Knowing that folks actually have an interest in our little corner of the world is pretty damned nice, I have to say.

Another reason it’s a big day is that I am finally doing something I should have done years, possibly decades ago: seeing a therapist. While there are a few parts of my life where I’m extremely private, this is not one of them. I have long supported friends and family as they have sought help, and believe that even if nothing else is gained, having someone to express your deepest and darkest thoughts to is a wonderful gift to give yourself. I am blessed in that my husband and best friend already provides this for me, but I now choose to seek help in dealing with my issues instead of venting them. I see repeating patterns, situations and relationships that I need to figure out. I have, like pretty much everyone else on the planet, issues from my childhood and first marriage that are still impacting me and having a negative impact in my current journey. And because I love my husband beyond measure, I want to find a way to finally work on these and other issues before I drive him running and screaming from our marriage. 😉

It’s a really big step, one that most people I know have already taken. I’m definitely a late bloomer, and am completely grateful to my the folks that have supported me in getting to this point. Whether you gave me a shoulder to lean on or listened to my insecurities or just smiled kindly when I veered off track, I thank you. I am writing this in the wee hours of Tuesday morning,with my appointment later today. I have no clear idea of what it will be like, other than what I’ve seen in movies and on TV. I think my motivation for writing this post was a preemptive tearing off of the band-aid, so to speak. A gesture of honesty before the pending anxiety attack provoking session.

I don’t know how much of the process I’ll share. Probably not much, because I do have difficulty in revealing such personal information. But I did want to let folks know that I’m doing it in hopes of encouraging others that are on the fence to take the plunge. I don’t expect that the first therapist I see will be the perfect fit or that all my issues will become crystal clear and I’ll be able to heal and change in short order. Instead, I expect that it will be a lot of hard work and that there will be a lot of pain involved. Most worthwhile things are just so. But I think I’m worth it.

Happy ItB Anniversary, Chooch. Can you believe the journey we’ve been on since we started it?

Categories
Breast Cancer Breast Health No Whining Soulful

Do Me A Solid?

So, I like boobs and I’m guessing you do, too. Because of this common bond, I’m going to ask the following favors of you:

1) Get a mammogram if advised or, if not advised (male or too young), encourage a woman that has been putting it off to get one.
2) Only buy pink crap in October if you are buying it anyways. Otherwise, donate the money directly to a worthy cause. Then 100% of your money will go to the charity, instead of 2%.
3) Do a monthly breast screening, females and males. In the shower, with soap, grope yourself. Men get it, too. And boys, check out your danglies while you’re at it!
4) Realize that you are your own hero in cancer prevention, breast or otherwise. If you see something suspicious, regardless of where it is, GET IT CHECKED OUT!

I personally thank you for following the above steps, if you choose to. ♥

Unlike my FB and G+ posts, I’m going to add an additional favor:
Please give a moment of thought as to whether or not you have anything you would like to voice in my Breast Cancer Anthology. I have a few amazing works already, and have been promised more. I would love to include more writing, however, including images. If you are afraid you will not make it into the book, write it and send it along anyways. Sometimes sending things out into the world can be very cathartic. Also, you can submit as Anonymous, although, if selected, it adds a level of complication for the compensation.

Categories
Anti-Health Cooking Family Household

All Hail the Cinnamon Distraction

Like nearly all humans, I have a conflicted relationship with my family. They build me up, they break me down, yadda, yadda, yadda. But in times of desperation, when reaching for truth, they come through with the giggle making.

I give to you the word for word accounting of an exchange in Facebook with my sons and siblings regarding a recent discovery. Names changed to protect my family from our own silliness.

Note: If you aren’t familiar with the Cinnamon Challenge, search it out on Youtube. I won’t link here because I will not be held responsible for copycats. Swallow at your own peril.

…That’s what she said.

Also, I’ve thrown the cinnamon away. I will not cook with something that was that close to airborne fecal contaminants.

On to the discussion surrounding this photo:

  • <Me>: “My sons have some explaining to do. I’ve been looking for this for over a month, only to find it in their bathroom cabinet. (Naughty Bear)? (LT)? Who wants to confess to this one? Should I search Youtube for evidence? Mommeh no likey.<Longtime Family Friend/More Like a Sister> likes this.
  • <Naughty Bear>: Was not me, <LT> kept trying to get me to eat a spoonful. I’ll rat him out idc.
    • <My Sister/Their Aunt> likes this.
  • <LT>: Uhh.. how did that get there…?
    • <My Sister> likes this.
  • <LT>: It was <His cousin, Roboto Dude>’s idea!
  • <My Bro (and RD’s Dad)>: <RD> said nay!!!!!!!
  • <LT>: Alright, fine. It was my idea. But <RD> did it with me!
  • <My Bro>: AHA!!! He had already left for school when I posted that…AHA again I say!!!
    • <My Sister> likes this.
  • <My Sister>: This picture and entire thread crack me up. God I love my family ♥
  • <Me>: I love my kids and family. I decree there shall be no punishment! The entertainment value more than suffices for the loss of half a gigantic bottle of cinnamon.
    • <My Sister> likes this.
  • <Me>: Wait, you did it? Pix or it didn’t happen.
  • <My Sister, misunderstanding>: Who me? Psssh, yeah right, I’m not nearly that brilliant. I just liked your decree.
  • <My Bro>: Still, that stuff isn’t cheap. kids these days need to be taught that cinnamon does not grow on trees!!!
    • <I> like this.
  • <My Sister>:  Hahahahahaha!!!!! Again, I love my family!
Categories
Kids No Whining Our Kids

In the Blink of an Eye…

… LT has come and gone back to where he lives with his father and family out of state.

He was here almost six weeks, and it was a wonderfully harmonious time. We only raised our voices in laughter, and that was done with great frequency.

He’s over six inches taller than I, and his voice is as deep as my father’s. He hunkers down to hug me out of kindness, because he doesn’t want me to strain my back reaching up. He’s thoughtful, considerate and intuitive, which he demonstrates by putting things away and doing chores without being asked. Out of the blue he walks over to me with his arms stretched wide for a hug, and frequently says that he loves me.

In short, I wonder where my surly teen went. I think he either thinks I’m dying or he’s just become aware of how much I miss him. I suppose it’s possible he misses me, too. Nah, I won’t get my hopes up. *giggle*

We’ve not had much money for a grand and adventurous visit, but we did eke out money for an afternoon at King’s Dominion with his cousin, the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 midnight show, and attendance at the Van’s Warped Tour. He spent about a week at his dad’s parent’s house, and the rest of the visit he spent with me, Naughty Bear, Chooch, other family, a friend from school and hubby’s band, Ditched by Kate. All low-key stuff, nothing crazy, but he said he had a great time.

He says he loves Kaylee and seemed a bit choked up about not having her around all the time. They are so cute together. As he was sorting through his old Legos, karate pads and old toys she was happily sitting in the corner sniffing what had to be a very stinky sock (judging by the look of it).

I decided not to get maudlin, but would instead try and better document his visit by trudging through my posts in Twitter, Facebook and Google+. No one will find these interesting but me, and my feelings won’t be hurt if you close the page now as it is quite long.

Here’s what I found, oldest to newest:

  • June 18 – Awesome texts from LT, he’s as excited to get here as we are to see him! ♥ He’s counting down the hours! My cup runneth over!
  • June 20 – Aiiiiieeeeeeeee! Ten hours and 25 minutes until I get to see my baby boy’s brown eyes again. Happy!
  • June 20 – Medicating migraine and hitting the road. Glad Naughty Bear is driving!
  • June 20 – NB, Roboto Dude (14 yo nephew) & I almost at airport. They’ve made me play @ditchedbykate‘s Stumble ep & practice recording, they LOVE it!
  • June 20 – Aiiieeeeeee! Waiting on my boy! 30 minutes!
  • June 20 – Flight delayed half hour, loooosinnnnnng my miiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnd!
  • June 20 – LT’s flight just landed, about 3 minutes until I see how much taller he’s gotten and how the buzz cut looks in person! *squeak*
  • June 20 – Heading to dinner for dad’s 75th bday. Naughty Bear, LT and RD in tow. Yay!
  • June 20 – Although GK had other plans, these 3 are making enough noise for 4. They are over WoW (for now) and out renting games for PS3.
  • June 20 – Exhausted. Recurring migraines and spins due to excitement over son coming home. Crashing. Hard.
  • June 21 – Dizzy but happy. LT arrived yesterday, had a fun dinner with my dad to celebrate his milestone birthday (sweet 16), and returned home with loud men where there used to be boys. Happy that Naughty Bear and RD (nephew)  joined in the fun! Bliss is the word of the day!
  • June 21 – We were waiting for the heat to abate before running, now hoping we can get running shoes for LT before the stores close. #PlanFail
  • June 22 – First trip to grocery store since LT’s return, $300+. This incl feeding NB and nephew RD, but WOWZA.  #Locusts
  • June 24  – Crashing hard after what LT called “a great day”. Hoping for more of those. ♥
  • June 24 – Went for a run with LT yesterday and both boys ran with me today. This makes me very happy. Then they packed up and went to Mark’s place to hang out and play games, this is bittersweet. Love that they’re friends, hate that they’re not here. Oh, and I’m greedy, just in case you hadn’t noticed… 😉
  • June 28 – Migraine is back. In related news, Thomas rocks the drums on Rock Band! *thud*
  • June 28 – LT walked to next door to store for mozzarella cheese, came pack with parmesan. Now his first solo exchange! #TeachEmYoung #ShoppingLevelUp
  • June 30 – I will not be a cranky mom. I will finish my podcast production in spite of LT playing Rock Band drums 15 feet away.#LetNoMigraineHappen
  • July 1 – Happy to be chilling with my babies on our DBKation! Tonight vegan sushi followed by brownies, followed by rock and roll! 😀
  • July 1 – First night of DBKation was a wild success. Now camping in with my guys. Joy is off the charts.
  • July 7 – LT hit with nasty poison ivy. Thanks to Jennifer Lyle Taylor and Keith Taylor for natural remedies (Hyland’s and domeboro) to boost healing along with what the doctor prescribed (steroids). Tremendous change, just since he got here at 2 pm!
  • July 8 – LT’s trip to VA Beach with his best pal canceled because of his nasty case of poison ivy. Is it wrong that I’m enjoying the low-key time with him? No plans, so just chilling out. Heavenly.
  • July 8 – Viewing in the morning and realtor meeting too. Chilling out after dinner and scrub down with @choochus and LT. Great evening of convo!
  • July 9 – Waking up LT ~ Me: Your room looks great! Him: It took FOREVER to get the birds together. Me: What birds? Him: (sleepily) Huh? What birds?
  • July 10 – Leaving the party, had a great time. Saddened by how time has aged these no-longer-little ones. Adore who they’re becoming.#BlinkOfAnEye ~~ (After a BBQ thrown for BFF’s 16 year old daughter’s birthday.)
  • July 10 – Harry Potter 7 with the lads, post-homemade pizza. So easy to get lost in this world, so heart-breaking a story.
  • July 11 – Spent Mom’s birthday with hubby and LT as we took roses to her and had dinner at the restaurant she and LT began the “eat dessert first” tradition. She gave me more love during her life than I could ever use up in mine, so I’m luckier than most. Her absence still really pisses me off, so MANY thanks to my beloveds that helped me through it. ♥
  • July 11 – Took flowers to Mom, then had dessert first at the restaurant where the tradition began, Cheeseburger in Paradise. And guess what? They switched their ice cream to BLUE BELL!!!!! What power Mom wields! You would be wise to stand against none that she loves. Also, the hawt waitress fell in love with LT, but he dumped her. He’s a loner, Dot. A rebel. Just as well, I think she was a vampire.
  • July 11 – Praying that the flickering power goes out. I need a break from rock band drumming taking place 10 feet or so away.
  • July 11 – @DDog LT’s going thru drum kit withdrawals, so it’s the only release he has. We can’t bring ourselves to ask him to stop.
  • July 13 – Back at the doctor with LT, his poison ivy has spread like crazy and am worried about allergy to meds. My poor baby!
  • July 15 – I just got to play chauffeur to LT! I’ve missed that!
  • July 15 – Fantastic day in spite of all the work done/to get done for tomorrow’s yard sale. I love my boys, for they are unique and HILARIOUS! Dude. I got a random hug from a FOURTEEN YEAR OLD BOY. No one even told me this was POSSIBLE!
  • July 15 – Just got home from seeing Harry Potter 8 with my awesome family. Only disappointment is that I meant to take a pic when we were all together. The movie was masterfully done, although (no spoilers) Niece A was right with her nitpick. It’s soo worth the extreme spins and other symptoms from the 3D. Thank to J.K. Rowling, for all the tears of joy and heartbreak over the years.
  • July 16 – My kids have become fascinated with a tennis ball. Playing catch with it for the second time today. #CrazyKids
  • July 16 – Best phrase of the day: “AFK, skinny bands.” Lesson learned: Unexpected hugs are the best hugs. ♥ our fam.
  • July 17 (Twitter) – Grabbed a bunch of curbside cardboard boxes from newly moved in neighbors. LT and RD acting like they pulled off a heist and are giddy.
  • July 17  (FB) – Thanks to LT and RD (nephew)  for the late night cardboard box heist. Ninjas! I am blessed to have them in my life!
  • July 18 – … been spoiled ALL day by 14 y.o. LT. Spontaneously bought me Dove chocolate from store and unending hugs. No clue why I’m so blessed.
  • July 19 – Love my kids, mesmerized by hubby, and embracing the day with positivity. And I shall kick Tuesday square in the danglies if it balks.
  • July 19 – Only 9.5 days left with my brown-eyed boy. I refuse to get sad, but will instead have all the fun it’s possible to have. He’s so much more awesome than you’d ever imagine.
  • July 19 – Errands, haircut and chauffering skate punks in the realm of the big ball of hate in the sky has brought back migraine. Not amused.
  • July 19 – Dear Baby Jesus, please let me be migraine-free the next few days so I can get all my stuff done. I have been a very good girl and tried to help others whenever possible. I’d just like the weekend free to play with my family since we have less than 2 weeks left before my son leaves again and Christmas is very far off. Pretty please with sugar on top?
  • July 20 – My 14 year old “Liked” Sid Vicious in Facebook. Yep, the end of civilization is upon us.
  • July 20 – Spur of the moment trip to King’s Dominion with Thomas and Taylor. Hotter than Hades, but now the sun’s gone down and it’s nice. Fireworks in 30 minutes! They’re off running amok and chasing honey’s while I’m parked in a quiet spot with hubby’s Chrome netbook. No rides for me, can’t risk getting dizzy when I’m the driver! Love these boys to pieces!
  • July 20 – I’z excited! I get to see fireworks for the first time in years! 22 minutes and counting! *squeak*hop*giggle*hop* Aiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!!!!!
  • July 20 – This day was AMAZING! My heart containers are full from laughter, frolic and adventure!
  • July 21 – Last night LT told me he wants to work at the Renn Faire near where he lives with his dad. He was told he would need to take classes in order to do so, and he’s still willing. I’m… so … proud…!sniffle+Chooch Schubert don’t be surprised if he has questions for you about your experiences. Keep it clean, babe! 😉
  • July 22 – LT and @choochus off to see Captain America. I’ve got work to finish up tonight so I’m skipping it for now. #MoMoneyMoMoney
  • July 22 – Hubby and LT rolling in LoTRO style with a late night pie delivery. Yay! A wee piece as reward for my hard work! Stay away, nosy hobbits!
  • July 23 – Stellar night!!! LT chose to hang with us tonight. Watched him throw down beats on a drum kit for the first time! Such a happy Mom!
  • July 24 – Planning out the meals for the week with much sadness. @choochus leaves Mon and LT leaves on Fri . Not ready for my brown-eyed boy to go.
  • July 24 – If I don’t go to LT’s going away party, then he isn’t going to leave, right?
  • July 24 – Getting ready to head our for LT’s farewell party (he leaves on Friday) and birthday party for nephew RD. Feeling revitalized after time with family last night at band practice which had a spontaneous and amazing jam session by Ditched by Kate.
    I also got to watch my son play drums for the first time on an actual professional drum kit (thanks, Keith!) rather than just the rockband set at home. He is amazing and I’m so proud of his dedication to music at the age of 14! I can’t wait until he puts together a band so I can sign them to the label I’m creating!
    Bittersweet days, people, but I’m clinging to the sweet and ignoring the bitter for now!
  • July 25 – Kids are going to Warped Tour tomorrow, so they are gathering here for a Scott Pilgrim viewing and dinner. Got to send them off in the right frame of mind. I’m hoping they’ll get themselves off in the morning so I can sleep in for the first time in weeks.
  • July 26 (FB) – Herding cats, err kids, out the door for Warped Tour. Hope they stay hydrated!!!!
  • July 26 (Twitter) – Up and herding kids out the door for Warped Tour. Slumber party with my niece was fun. Always want to spend more time with her, must do so.
  • July 26 – Kids had a great time at Warped Tour. All of them ignored sunblock and are burned, dehydrated, exhausted and broke. I’m envious.
  • July 26 – BTW, kids will crush your soul underfoot, eat it, and then poo it onto a plate on your nightstand. (Hat tip to Mrs. @PhilRossi.) ♥ my kids!
  • July 27 – …2 days til my brown-eyed boy flies away for 5 months! Gotta make ’em count!
  • July 27 – Ughhhhh… been dreading this part. LT packing up his room for the house (cross our fingers) sale. Sad to see childhood things tossed aside.
  • July 27/28 – (Just after midnight) – #NoEmo Last full day w/LT tomorrow, but also have to get house prepped for weekend viewings. I hate juggling and want to goof off w/him.
  • July 28 – At Famous Dave’s with LT, our big splurge on his last day. Love my big man!
  • July 28 – I may explode into unicorns and pixie dust if this day with LT gets any better. Or at least have rainbows shoot out of my butt. ♥ him!
  • July 28 – … Watching Across the Universe with mah babies. ♥ them so much.
  • July 28 – Movie was awesome. Head pounding. Several more hours of work to do before bed. Getting up at 7am to take LT to the airport. Tomorrow is gonna leave a mark. Can’t wait for the hard part to be over and I can get snuggled until I’m not sad anymore.
  • July 29 – If I don’t take him to the airport, he never has to leave. Right?
  • July 29 – ♥ (LT) is safe and sound at home with his dad and family. Yay for safe travel. Miss my baby already! ♥

It’s taken me a long time to start to get my groove back, for a lot of different reasons.  Thanks to those that still check in here.

Categories
AFI's Top 100 Movies

The Apartment, #80 on AFI’s List

The Apartment, 1960

Director: Billy Wilder

Writers: Billy Wilder, I.A.L. Diamond

Starring: Jack Lemmon, Shirley MacLaine and Fred MacMurray

Jack Lemmon plays C.C. Baxter, one worker in thousands at an insurance company trying to work his way up the ladder. Shirley MacLaine plays Fran Kubelik the elevator operator. Knowing this movie was filmed over fifty years ago, I was still mesmerized by the youth and beauty of both MacLaine and Lemmon. But more importantly, their acting chops are just as strong as they are in later movies, and both actors utterly compelling in their performances.

He’s a really nice guy, but besides being a highly efficient and responsible employee, he’s trying to achieve executive status by lending out his apartment to executives in his office for their extra marital affairs. He finds himself in various difficult situations because of it.

There are some differences in some social aspects, not surprisingly, from current day morals. One is that when Baxter is asking Kubelik out on a date, he tells her he knows everything about her because he looked up her personal information in the insurance files. He knew her address, birthday, social security number. She thought it was funny. We thought he was a stalker.

The other was that when a married executive fires an ex-lover because she told his current lover about their relationship. He was very frank about why he was firing her and had no fear of legal retribution. She did get even, but not by pursuing sexual harassment or appealing the job loss.

The movie suddenly takes a serious turn and is absolutely mesmerizing. I absolutely loved the ending, when it seemed that we were going to get a cliche ending and didn’t with my favorite response EVAR to a character being told “I love you.”

Fran simply says, “Shut up and deal,” while playing a card game with Baxter when he confesses his love for her.

It’s a completely charming film with a blunt view of affairs, sexuality and the appetites of powerful men taking full advantage of their place in life. I am sad that the vast majority of women in the film seem to be drunken bimbos, other than the absolutely charming balance of goodness of MacLaine’s Fran and the apartment’s neighbor-wife. There was not a lot of depth given to either, and all the female characters fulfilled a cliche, but for its time that is not a surprise.

While no where near my favorite movie on the list, it’s solidly in the middle and I enjoyed it immensely.

Categories
Dizzy Family Mom Movies Our Kids

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2 (No Spoilers)

I will touch only lightly on the movie itself, as it just opened today and don’t want to spoil anyone else’s experience.

It was everything I hoped for, and save for a nitpick by my niece afterward that I agree with, it was perfection. We saw it in 3-D, even though I knew it would likely bring on the spins. I was, but it was worth it. Chooch said he didn’t feel 3-D added much, and maybe it’s my condition, but I noticed constant use of it to more fully immerse the viewers in the story. In hindsight, he thought maybe that’s the difference between good and bad 3-D, it’s not in your face, so to speak, like (my example) the old SCTV “3D House of Pancakes” skit. It was subtle and masterfully done in my opinion. Yes, I was extremely dizzy afterward, with nausea and a returning migraine. But I’m glad we sprang for it. It may be the last time I’ll have the chance to see Harry in 3D on the big screen, after all.

Watching the actors grow and develop their skills along with these beloved characters over the eight movies depicting this beautifully written but very dark children’s series has been bittersweet. I was amazed at the acting chops they demonstrated, and in fact the entire cast truly brought their A-game. I hope to see it again before it leaves the theaters, at least one more time, so I can more fully enjoy each and every nuance.

I will say this is not a film for young children or those with sensitive dispositions. As in the books, terrible things happen. I won’t go into it, but will instead point you to a SPOILER FILLED review written by my favorite kid review site, Kids In Mind. The site offers reviews based on a numerical score for nudity, violence/gore, and profanity. It then lists every scene in which each of these occur with description. I’ve used it for years, and have never found error with their reviews. In a quick reading of the Deathly Hallows 2 review, I find the descriptions to be wholly accurate. I highly recommend that you spoil yourself, if you are considering taking young ones to see it. There are things that can be unseen, and if you’ve not read the books you owe it to your kid(s) to know what they’ll be seeing to make an informed decision on their behalf. /steps off soapbox/

Now for the real reason for the post, to describe the journey. Christmas of 1999, my son Naughty Bear was given the book series (up to that point , 3 books) by both grandmothers, and the first book by an aunt. We’d not heard of the series, but all three of these wonderful women sensed that NB would love it. We split the difference, keeping one book from each of the sets given. He tried reading it, but at 8 couldn’t really sink his teeth into it. That spring, his dad left me and the boys and I moved in with my parents as I was an unemployed, stay-home Mom of two. While trying to find our way in our new life, we reached for J.K. Rowling’s magical world. Instead of him reading the books alone, I read the Sorcerer’s Stone aloud to him. LT was 4 and had little to no interest other than being in the room with us and sharing this special time, and played around us or snuggled with us as his mood warranted.

We enjoyed the book, but we were hooked when Fred and George entered the story. The light-hearted shenanigans they brought to the story where the turning point for NB, and we then read with gusto as quickly as I could. I then read the next book to him, and when my voice would give out he would read sections aloud to me. This was how we finished the books available to that point, and eagerly awaited book 4. We were transfixed by this world, full of loss, new friendships and the transformative new life little Harry found.

That Halloween, my Mom hosted a Harry Potter Halloween party for the family and close friends. My dad set out the Christmas light reindeer made to look like a unicorn with a pool of blue lights at its feet as if it were in front of a lake, taking a drink. My former sister-in-law and family friend made an ornate cardboard front for the door, making it look like stonework with a Hogwart’s shield on it. We set up a wand making station, and held a scavenger hunt for the Goblet of Fire that nearly ended in disaster as the kids thought one of the clues led to my Mom’s actual cat. We served theme foods (Mad Eye Moody deviled eggs comes to mind) and had Jelly Bellies since Bernie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans were not yet available. Everyone came in costume, even the 3 month old baby in the sorting hat costume made by his mom. My Mother went as Madame Pomfrey and handed out chocolate coins to the children all night for their “restorative powers.” It was an amazing night, that I think shows a small amount of the way that my family embraced that world.

When the movies started coming out, for the first few I played hooky with Mark and my folks to go see them on opening day. Yep, if his grades were good, and they always were, I pulled him out of school to go to the movies. Judge me all you like, it was one of the few irresponsible choices I made, and I stand by them to this day.

So when this one came out, and my boys are actually here to see it with me (Thank God for the timing), we turned it into a big family event. We met at my brother’s house at 11 pm, as it’s 4 minutes from the theater. Chaos ensued, as it always does with us, and we headed off to the theater at 11:15. By the time we got there, we couldn’t get seats together. I expected that we wouldn’t all 9 have seats together, but I had expected to sit together in small groups. Nope. We had to settle for solo viewings, save LT and his cousin, who I was able to finally get seated together. It was highly stressful as they either over sold, or more likely, had people sneak in from other theaters. I finally managed to get everyone a seat, then almost lost mine as I ran to get drinks before the movie started. Luckily, my seat was next to an adorable couple, aged around 16 years old. They had wands and great excitement, and he saw what I was dealing with and guarded my seat with vigor, as did Chooch who was seated behind me.

Side note: The trailer for The Dark Knight actually has me wanting to see it now. The snippet with Commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman) sold me completely. That man remains one of my favorite actors. The Sherlock Holmes trailer resulted in “meh,” but the trailer for John Carter looked pretty cool. The Twilight trailer for the upcoming movie, brought immediate booing and laughter at the dramatic scenes. Apparently, Bella and Edward are fairly despised, but Jacob is adored. The only cheering that happened was when he was shown, and the rest of the trailer was mocked. I was really surprised to find that there seemed to be a rivalry between the two franchises. I’ve never had interest in that series and know only what people have told me, so was shocked at the reaction. These Rowling loyalists don’t seem to dig the sparkly vampires one bit!

Once the movie started, cheering began and I saw people raise their wands at the screen in excitement. At different points during the movie, there was heartfelt cheering, uproarious laughter, total silence, gasping and a great sense of unity. At the end of the movie, some then raised their wands saying “Mischief managed.” I get goosebumps again thinking about it.

I’m extremely grateful that I did not re-read the last book as I had intended. There were things completely forgotten, and when they happened I was as shocked as if I had never read the books. It was a total and complete roller coaster ride.  I’m happy to say that my adoration of the tale was not from blind devotion, but rather true appreciation for what I find to be a rich and beautiful world filled with joy and pain, just like our own world.

As is true with the Lord of the Rings, my favorite characters are not the “heroes” of the story. Samwyse stole my heart there, and Neville Longbottom has had his name in my heart since, hm… The third book? Maybe the fourth. He, Luna and Snape are by far my favorites, although Mrs. Weaseley is right up there as well, especially after this installment.

The family gathered after the end of the movie and we excitedly shared our favorite parts and utter amazement at what an amazing experience it had been. It was bittersweet, knowing that this part of that experience is over even as I’m happy to finally have seen the final movie. As I expressed last night in Twitter, I’m very grateful that Ms. Rowling put pen to paper to such exquisite result. The impact on my life and that of my family has been huge and unexpectedly extraordinary.

Thank you, Ms. Rowling, from the bottom of my over-flowing heart containers.