I think it’s been awhile, and I have recently been known to attempt to steer recent conversations away from my health issues. I’ve done okay, with one regretted exception, where it was too much honesty for too long and I hastily began the backpedal out of health blah territory and back to the fun light stuff I went to Dragon*Con for in the first place.
History of what I call my Health Blahs (over the last 3 years): Sudden onset of vestibular migraines (and associated neurological symptoms), neurocardiogenic syncope (fairly common – I may faint under stress. Like approximately 70% of the population, reportedly.) TMJ and a Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever diagnosis (4 week RMSF treatment, no clue what to expect from it in the future).
Earlier this year, after a massive increase in pain, fatigue and many other symptoms, primarily pain hotspots hitting pretty much any joint I could identify at one point or another, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. There has been concern over the extreme pain and loss of flexibility and mobility in my hands and feet, and after x-rays gave no clear answer, I had an MRI of my right hand to try and diagnose the frequently painful periods in both hands and feet.
The MRI revealed that there is no evidence of rheumatoid arthritis in my right hand (Praise Baby Jesus); we don’t really know what’s causing the pain in my hands and feet, but some pain in my right hand may be attributed to a cyst I am to get checked out (wheee!); I’m getting physical therapy and a safe start back on the path to (crossing fingers) 5k’s and half-marathon training (Dammit, Mur. I’m not giving up.). I miss running and I intend to have another 500+ mile year. Soon.
So, in general, I had more tests run, have more tests being run, have extreme gratitude to my husband for providing excellent health insurance for us and our kids, have far more interesting Dragon*Con posts and no more real information but lots of options still open to me.
While some of these issues are chronic, they are not life-threatening. Sadly, I have many examples of those less fortunate than I to reflect on, and I am fully aware of how lucky I am and will take my hefty dose of pain over the things that others are dealing with health-wise ANY day.
I remain flabbergasted by the gestures of love and support I get from many that I have met once, two hundred times or never (in meat space).
For many reasons, those gestures pull me through some pretty dark stuff so if you think I’ve not noticed a kindness, know that I have.
I am unendingly uplifted and grateful for the kindness of the singularly amazing and fascinating people that let me call them friend. Thank you, to those it applies to. Special thanks to Roomie For Life, P.G. Holyfield and my hubby. It’s not easy rooming with me, but they spoil me anyways.
Now, it’s really hard to write a self-indulgent, whiney post like this, even though the hope is to remove any need folks may feel to ask after my health. I am thrilled when it doesn’t come up, although I am generally happy to answer questions as long it doesn’t linger too long or turn too dark.
When you see me, I may have one or both wrist braces on. Same may be true of my knees or ankles. I may be using a cane. I don’t want to need them, but I’m accepting them as necessary tools for me right now, on occasion. And while I’m trying, I’ve not yet hit the “you have to be able to laugh about it” stage. It’s all still ill-fitting yet, but I’ll try not to spill Awkward on you.
I have to take breaks, the more strenuous the activity, the more often. That’s why I am so rarely out and about in the crush of the big events at conventions and spend a lot of time resting in my room recovering from or hoping to prevent some pain or symptom or another. Sadly, as was driven home again last Saturday, all the rest in the world won’t make my body able to get up and moving, but I fight really hard before giving in on time with friends.
But, I am fine.
Really.
Now, let’s get back to the giggles. M’kay?
Tomorrow, Dragon*Con 2012, Part 3: Magical Friday, or, How I Met Jewel Staite.
