Too Long For Twitter

So, Boobs. I Get It Now!

While watching The Daily Show tonight, one of their bits was discussing under representation of Latinos in Hollywood roles. This prompted me to ask Chooch, “Which do you think has it worse in that aspect, Latinos or …

… um …

… Wait …”

I moved closer to the television squinting and trying to focus on the voluptuous female form on an olive oil bottle, now animated and moving about with her softly bouncing curves drawing me closer, saying, “Wait…

… Is this why guys stare at boobs all the time? Cuz I’m positively mesmerized by those boobs. Seriously, I can’t NOT look at them.”

Cue commercial end.

I whipped my head to my husband and asked, “No, really. Is that what it’s like? All the time?”

His reply was, “Boobs are awesome.

So, okay, here’s how I feel right now: After the emotionally charged month I’ve had, with particular attention to the insane amount of inappropriate groping I have halted (A post is being written, trust me.) in the last 2 weeks, I’m now willing to throw you boys a solid.

After seeing this commercial, I now think(?) I understand the fascination. I didn’t before, but now I kinda see how it could grab your eyes and not let go.

HOWEVER, if you are older than 17 years old, ya best curb that inappropriate shit. If it’s not something you’d want to see done to your mother, daughter or sister then don’t do it to someone that has not granted that specific access to you. Just because you want to touch something doesn’t mean you can. And assuming a woman wants to be taken against her will (Jaime Lannister in Season 2, Episode 10) is criminally misunderstanding my gender completely.

I do not stand alone when I say that the boob starers of my age are kept at a wary distance. If you didn’t know that it’s a turn off for most women already, hopefully this post will clue you in.

You should most certainly consider yourself warned when in my presence, both for me and the women in my company. You know how Arya Stark has a list of people she wants to kill? I have a list of men whose testicles I want dangling from a billboard in front of my house to warn others like them to stay away.

And hey, If I come across the commercial anywhere, I’ll link it here. I’m understandably drawing a blank on the name of the company.