The first half, I totally agree. When people, circumstances or both dry up all the kindness out of you, always be kind to yourself first, until you feel back in balance there again, IF you ever do. Think of the air mask on an airplane safety schtick, they instruct you to secure yourself so that you can provide assistance to others. If you do the 2 kids first, you may not get to the second kid OR yourself. How’s that image for your kids to grow up with after you die?
But the second half seems passive aggressive for me. My point being: I do not like withholding when others do it to me, nor do I like to do it to others. Fear of rejection plays into the timing (usually delayed), but dammit, I’m human. Sometimes I am simply wrung out and I struggle to react, no matter how powerful what I am presented with is. For various reasons, many of them relationship based, I’m exhausted from self-inflicted and collateral damage from Other People’s Drama and am taking a vacation from those people. It’s a necessity if the ebb and flow of our relationship will ever flow again.
I dunno, am I thinking too hard? I’ve been working on healing myself to be able to be kinder in our shared world and to smooth the paths of others, wherever possible. It’s not a religious thing, it’s a philosophical thing. I don’t see a difference in praying the Catholic rosary vs. a Buddhist chant vs. guided imagery vs. tranquilly watching birds eating birdseed vs. a conversation with a deceased beloved vs. a song that makes you THAT happy. A mini spa-day for the soul, invigorating you for your next foray into the breach.
And some things I don’t share from these feeds for various reasons, on seeking a kind and peaceful path (crucial for neurological symptom management, YMMV), but with this one I am stuck. Is Mandy subtly attacking by withholding? Trying to “teach someone a lesson?” That is a kindness to no one. If stinky stuff doesn’t get aired, it will always be stinky. TRUST ya girl on that one.
(And as we all know the Silence will fall.)