Category: Friends

Categories
Chooch Droid Friends

Droid App – Wordfeud

Over the weekend Chooch and I lucked into a great deal when we changed carriers and were able to upgrade our G1’s (original Droid phones) for Droid X’s. I’ll leave it to Chooch to give the full poop on how awesome they are, but will briefly mention that although I love the larger screen, it does feel a bit strange using it to make calls. Most of my use is text based, so this is not truly a drawback in practical terms.

We decided to try and find a game similar to “Words with Friends” which, for now at least, is exclusive on Apple devices. It’s a shame because it would be great to be able to play with more friends across the great divide of Droid vs. Apple, but such is life!

The game we’re currently testing is “WordFeud” on the Android market. It reportedly will not work on G1’s because of the older operating system, but works smoothly on Version 2.2. There are other games, so may end up jumping to another, but for now I’m enjoying the 8 games I’ve got running.

If you’re playing it, feel free to throw me an invite, my username is Vivid Muse, natch.

Categories
Books Cool Links / Clicky Linky Friends Health

Geist by Philippa Ballantine

New Zealand author and dear friend Philippa Ballantine has her new book launch TODAY! My husband Chooch read a pre-release copy and says that it’s his favorite of her books to date! Our copies are en route and should arrive today. If you haven’t already, rush out to your local bookstore and buy it or simply order from Amazon!

Geist

Between the living and the dead is the Order of the Deacons, protectors of the Empire, guardians against possession, sentinels enlisted to ward off the malevolent haunting of the geists…

Among the most powerful of the Order is Sorcha, now thrust into partnership with the novice Deacon, Merrick Chambers. They have been dispatched to the isolated village of Ulrich to aide the Priory with a surge of violent geist activity. With them is Raed Rossin, Pretender to the throne that Sorcha is sworn to protect, and bearer of a terrible curse.

But what greets them in the strange settlement is something far more predatory and more horrifying than any mere haunting. And as she uncovers a tradition of twisted rituals passed down through the dark reaches of history, Sorcha will be forced to reconsider everything she thinks she knows.

And if she makes it out of Ulrich alive, what in Hell is she returning to?


Take a moment to watch the cool trailer created by Tee Morris in support of Geist.

Categories
Cool Links / Clicky Linky Friends Too Long For Twitter

Too Long For Twitter, GLAAD Spirit Day

I’m choking on all the bigotry and hate in the world, so am joining GLAAD’s Spirit Day today to raise awareness and show my support of Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender youth by wearing purple and spreading the word.

Bullying of any kind is WRONG, but when children are taking their own lives over it, IT HAS TO STOP.

Life is short, choose love over hate. And if you can’t, please keep it to yourself instead of spewing it on others.

Categories
Books Friends Soulful Too Long For Twitter Twitter/Facebook Work

Too Long to Tweet, Number One

There are so many stories of Patrick McLean’s  that make me mutter “Brilliant,” even on the 10th hearing/reading. But this one gives me shivers, too.

“What I do see is the guy with the gun walking up next to my car. Or more precisely, the gigantic black hole that is the barrel of the gun. If you’ve ever had a gun pointed at you, you know what I mean. The barrel seems huge. And why shouldn’t it? It has to be big enough to swallow your whole life.”

-“Getting Shot” from Stories I Told Myself and The Seanachai podcast.

You may consider me biased, but come on. That is a fierce string of words.

Welcome to my shortest post ever.

Categories
Family Friends No Whining Our Kids

Baby Days

Saturday was a rarity for us. Although we know lots of people with short ones, spending an entire day with babies is not a common occurrence for us. We spent the afternoon at a birthday party for the two year old daughter of dear friends, and there were two other adorable wee ones in attendance. Watching them laugh, play, fuss, fight over toys and then laugh again is something that will lift 20 years from your age as you giggle at their antics and try to keep up.

In the evening, we were with two other adorable babes as they grinned, giggled and danced the night away.Wave after wave of miniature cuteness from the day carried me away to the point that I looked at Chooch and said, “Really? We’re done having kids?” He gave me a suspicious look as he said, with much finality, “Yes.”

I was as surprised as he was at my question, but the feeling passed as I reminded myself that we made that decision long ago in the hopes of better providing for the children we already have from previous marriages. It was the right decision, especially with the weird medical stuff we’re going through right now and the added difficulty of having our three boys all living so far from us. I’m sure that my constant missing of them contributed to my brief baby craving, and no matter how much time I spend with other people’s kids, it just doesn’t soothe that longing. If anything it makes it more poignant.

No whining – this is my life and I’ve got much to be thankful for, including the health and happiness of the three magnificent young men in my life and heart. Everything else is gravy.

Besides, I’ll be a grandmother someday. Then I’ll be free to purely spoil, rather than parent, the sweet wee ones. That certainly seems like something that is worth waiting for.

Categories
Chooch Friends Podcast Soulful

Our Place in the Hundred Acre Wood

This is a blog post I started ages ago, which then became a conversation with Chooch that we ended up recording. It seems redundant to go into more detail here since we just posted it on Into the Blender.

I will say that there isn’t any specific person that was the inspiration for this dialog.  So if you think it’s about you, it’s not. I do think it’s great that you have such a healthy measure of self-esteem, and I’m sorry to disappoint. This was actually inspired by jumping from stream to stream and seeing a continuous tone within each stream, including my own.

Into The Blender: Episode 49: The Tao of Twitter

It’s not our normal format or recording set-up, which we explain in the intro. Apologies if the background noise is too distracting, if we do this type again we’ll try to make it quieter.

Categories
Chooch Cooking Firsts Friends Health Household

Cooking More, In Frequency and Variety

I was making a shopping list, and the recipes I’m shopping for made me reflect on recent-ish changes. I decided to write a quick post on this topic.

Not surprisingly, when I was working full time with a three hour daily commute my interest and time for cooking dropped off tremendously.  Partner that with a general recipe rut of cooking what I knew Chooch and my sons would like and you’ve got a couple years of routine dishes and a lot of boredom with cooking. We ate out a lot, I used a lot of cooking shortcuts and in general was borderline resentful of the entire process.

In the last six months or so, primarily due to a tightening in our budget, I’ve been cooking more. Add to this my renewed love of fruit and vegetables and I feel as if the whole culinary world has opened up to me again. I’ve been experimenting with new dishes, and while some were lousy, most were either perfect for us or close enough that some tweaking made them work.

I’m having a lot more fun in the kitchen and we are eating more wholesome foods as a result. This makes me extremely happy, especially with my fascination with “Eat This, Not That“ lists.  We rarely venture into the extremely unhealthy realm of restaurants anymore, partly due to cost and partly due to my unwillingness to eat that unhealthily except in the most extreme situations. It’s just too hard to find whole grain options, and they add so much salt and fat to the dishes that it’s obscene.

In fact, thanks to a recent and delicious meal made for us by friends Heather and Marc, I’m going to attempt my first ever Indian dish. No, I’m not going to mix my own curry, and while I know this will offend some I have two words for you –  baby steps!

I’ve also been baking bread and am almost at the point where I ready to write a post on that subject in the next week or two. My love of whole grain/whole wheat is pushing me to find more and more options, and so far it’s been a lot of fun, even when the results are more brick-like than bread-like.

One very surprising turn that I’m taking is towards vegetarian and vegan foods. I have some odd food phobias, namely anything pork, anything on the bone, anything that lives in water, and any “exotic” meat (not sold in grocery stores) makes me squeamish as well.

While I still love beef and chicken, I am eating it less and less. This is partly because we have vegan and vegetarian friends that we do pot-lucks with fairly regularly.  I prefer contributing something that they can eat but that I will enjoy as well. I hate nothing more than testing a recipe on friends, so am seeking and testing recipes for future meals with them. This is leading to some interesting and healthy places, and for the first time I can really see the possibility of going vegetarian. I don’t think I’ll ever give up cheese, so vegan is probably never going to happen. I’m already maintaining a tenuous grip on eggs though, but for now couldn’t live with hubby’s delicious omelets. And it certainly simplifies baking, although I did get an egg-replacement product to test out for my vegan buds.

I’m off now to get some honey for bread and curry for dinner. It occurs to me a wonderful side effect of the new cooking jag is that my house usually smells AWESOME!

Categories
Chooch Friends No Whining Twitter/Facebook

Forty-One and Loving It, aka My Life is Effing Metal

Today is my birthday, so I thought I would write a post on something simple, pure and unexpected I experienced this morning. A smile.

As background, for the last 20 or so years, around the time I became pregnant with my first child, I’ve had only a few treasured friends, barely enough to fill one hand’s worth of fingers. I had MANY friends prior to the pregnancy, but I wanted to clear out those influences I didn’t want around the precious life I was carrying. No one was more surprised than I at the tiny percentage that particular qualifier left me with by the time Naughty Bear arrived. Of those remaining few, only one has survived since then, and “Y-vette” and I are celebrating our 21st year of loving and supportive friendship this month.

In recent years, I find myself somehow blessed because I’m surrounded by remarkable people that I have no hesitation in calling True Friends. I’ll grudgingly admit that in the ramp-up phase, I opened myself up in a trusting way to people I felt a connection with, and that has left me incredibly hurt and burned by some. Sorry to break it to some of you, but this isn’t a “naming names” post, especially because I still care deeply for these people and wish them only happiness. It just wasn’t a dynamic that worked, for whatever reason. Some have decided that I’m unkind and vilified me for being honest about this rather than pretending a deeper relationship existed when it didn’t. One of the more surprising things I’ve learned is that some don’t want to see the truth, while that is all I want at this stage of my life.

Yesterday, we were able to see some of the people that bring me the most joy in my life. It was a tangible and much needed reminder that genuine connections do exist. I honor and protect those connections, and work very hard not to take them for granted. They are rare and precious, but I am simply not a wordsmith that can craft the phrases to express how much it means to me. I’ll explain it this way:
This is actually a day that I was dreading, not because I’m getting older or for fear of any number. I embrace 41 as I embraced 40 last year, with welcoming arms. But instead of waking with sadness and eventual tears, as I actually expected, I found myself instead waking with memories of shared laughter and contentment. Color me every shade of surprised to discover an actual smile on my face as I awoke.

For those that have sent my kind words, birthday wishes before I even awoke, and any kind of amazing support through the difficult year, know that I am more grateful than I can express. Whether we have actually met or not, I am constantly amazed at the richness that podcasting and social media has brought to my life.

And for those genuine friendships I have somehow found myself blessed with, whether you were there yesterday or not, whether you are now in Heaven or still on this Earth, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the love and beauty you bring to my life.

*Note: I’ve turned comments off, for my own reasons, but if you feel compelled to respond you can email me at vivmuse@gmail.com.*

Categories
Dizzy Friends Health

Can I Get A Prescription For That?

Conversation with my doctor:
Her: You have to remove as many stressors as possible from your life, whether it’s people or situations. It’s damaging your health.
Me: Working on it.

The worst part of my migraines should be the part that I can’t control. You know, doing everything I’m supposed to and still not being able to go to work. Or the financial impact of what my inability to get to work has caused. And yes, I’m having to wave “bye bye” to my secure government job due to the length of the diagnosis and search for effective treatment. *

I’m actually finding that the most challenging part is limiting “voluntary” stressors, primarily in social situations. In recent months, I’ve found that others’ negativity has a measurable impact on me, so I literally have to avoid it. Otherwise, whatever  symptoms I’m dealing with intensify and I’m down and out until it feels like passing.

So I’m initiating some changes in my life, one of those is actually trying to express myself as issues arise instead of holding them in. In my family, I’ve frequently been the “peace maker” or “diplomat”, trying to soothe ruffled feathers. Being the one to ruffle them is messy, and I’ve already learned that I own some responsibility for the effects of things having occurred in the past. Not for the hurtful event, but rather letting it fester in me without addressing it and ensuring that it stops.

I’ve gotten a tremendous amount of support, but I’ve also had my words and intentions twisted. I’m not wasting my time on that, and I’ll happily take the “rainbows and sunshine” smart-ass remarks. So far, it’s been a pretty damned good indication of those influences I need to distance myself from, at least for now.

I know a lot of people that are able to have intelligent, thoughtful and fascinating conversations without tearing other people down. I happily spent most of the weekend with a lot of people like that. And not surprisingly I find those to be the people that I have the most fun with. Because, let’s be honest, if you’re around a person that is constantly tearing down other people it’s only a matter of time before they start in on you. If they haven’t already.

And just what do you think the odds are of that?

*For any of you kind and wonderful people that may think there should be a chip-in or fundraising effort, please know that we do not want it. We are blessed in our life, and prefer efforts be helped that are more critical. Hungry kids, cancer cures, homeless shelters, paying down YOUR credit card balance…  there are so many other places to send your money!

Categories
Convention Attendance Cool Links / Clicky Linky Dizzy Friends Health

A Lesson Relearned

Writing my blog post for Balticon took longer than it should because I write here for me. My memory is full of suck lately, whether due to the health issues or the medication or both. I forget things. A LOT of things. So I take extra time to write things out, and when I’m doing this in a blog I try really hard to give links for the cool people or things I’ve seen. This leads to a lot of searching, which leads to a lot of reading as things catch my eye. While doing this I discovered further proof that Dave Slusher is a really cool guy. I’m not saying this as a podcast fangirl, because I only found out after Balticon that he even has a podcast. Yes, I’m that clueless…

I first chatted with Dave at Dragon*Con 2009, but I was told we actually met at Balticon 2009. I didn’t recognize him because he had been wearing the Mexican wrestler mask that is the key component to his Señor Muerte costume. Not having much time with him in Atlanta, he did make enough of an impression on our evening that Rich, Susan, Chooch and I developed the “Dave Slusher Temperature Scale” and it involved a body part that I won’t mention at this time. Because I’m a lady.

I got to spend some real time in conversation with him at this year’s Balticon, and I just can’t say enough nice things about the guy. At every instance, he was smart, funny and thoughtful with an edge of irreverence around his really big heart.

I found his Evil Genius Chronicles podcast and blog just as hubby said I would, for the usual “clicky linky” opportunity for my readers. My eye was pulled to a blog he posted last year before Dragon*Con, and as I read I found a paragraph that really touched me. It’s the kind of behavior I’ve been striving towards for a while, although I’m far from where I want to be, as a part of my desire to push negativity away and embrace positivity. I’ll be damned if Dave didn’t put my own thoughts down in his blog, in better words than I could have.

An excerpt from Dave Slusher’s “Dragon*Con and the Geek Hierachy“:

“I don’t do nearly enough volunteering and charity in my life, something I need to fix. However, here’s a small thing I do that costs me exactly nothing in time or energy. It actually saves me time and energy. I don’t make fun of anyone at Dragon*Con for anything. Not even for smelling funny, being awkward and completely inept socially, for wearing costumes that are age and/or weight inappropriate, for saying dumb things. I don’t care. This is a long, cold, shitty, lonely life and if dressing up like the green belly dancer girl from the original Star Trek or pretending you are a fictional super-heroine makes your life a little better, have at it. Moments of true joy are hard enough to come by in this world. If wearing funny clothes or putting on an accent that you haven’t practiced enough or acting like a complete spazz makes you feel better, do it with my blessing. Don’t knock me over, don’t harsh anyone else’s mellow, be a good steward of the space carved out to allow you this freedom and don’t deprive anyone else of the same, and then we are cool.”

It seems simple, doesn’t it? Akin to the Golden Rule and something we learned in elementary school.  How did we get so far from it? Speaking for myself, I know that at recent events I slipped right into a lifelong habit of teasing when I was with my family. That’s just the way we’ve always interacted. I realized that I really don’t like myself when I’m like that, and didn’t even realize I had joined in on it.

I find myself rededicated to cleaning up my words and actions after reading this. It won’t be easy, because old and sarcastic habits die hard.

So thanks, Dave! I’ve even printed out the portion that I put in bold type and have hung it next to my desk. In Comic Sans, natch.