Category: Family

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Chooch Friends No Whining Twitter/Facebook

Forty-One and Loving It, aka My Life is Effing Metal

Today is my birthday, so I thought I would write a post on something simple, pure and unexpected I experienced this morning. A smile.

As background, for the last 20 or so years, around the time I became pregnant with my first child, I’ve had only a few treasured friends, barely enough to fill one hand’s worth of fingers. I had MANY friends prior to the pregnancy, but I wanted to clear out those influences I didn’t want around the precious life I was carrying. No one was more surprised than I at the tiny percentage that particular qualifier left me with by the time Naughty Bear arrived. Of those remaining few, only one has survived since then, and “Y-vette” and I are celebrating our 21st year of loving and supportive friendship this month.

In recent years, I find myself somehow blessed because I’m surrounded by remarkable people that I have no hesitation in calling True Friends. I’ll grudgingly admit that in the ramp-up phase, I opened myself up in a trusting way to people I felt a connection with, and that has left me incredibly hurt and burned by some. Sorry to break it to some of you, but this isn’t a “naming names” post, especially because I still care deeply for these people and wish them only happiness. It just wasn’t a dynamic that worked, for whatever reason. Some have decided that I’m unkind and vilified me for being honest about this rather than pretending a deeper relationship existed when it didn’t. One of the more surprising things I’ve learned is that some don’t want to see the truth, while that is all I want at this stage of my life.

Yesterday, we were able to see some of the people that bring me the most joy in my life. It was a tangible and much needed reminder that genuine connections do exist. I honor and protect those connections, and work very hard not to take them for granted. They are rare and precious, but I am simply not a wordsmith that can craft the phrases to express how much it means to me. I’ll explain it this way:
This is actually a day that I was dreading, not because I’m getting older or for fear of any number. I embrace 41 as I embraced 40 last year, with welcoming arms. But instead of waking with sadness and eventual tears, as I actually expected, I found myself instead waking with memories of shared laughter and contentment. Color me every shade of surprised to discover an actual smile on my face as I awoke.

For those that have sent my kind words, birthday wishes before I even awoke, and any kind of amazing support through the difficult year, know that I am more grateful than I can express. Whether we have actually met or not, I am constantly amazed at the richness that podcasting and social media has brought to my life.

And for those genuine friendships I have somehow found myself blessed with, whether you were there yesterday or not, whether you are now in Heaven or still on this Earth, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the love and beauty you bring to my life.

*Note: I’ve turned comments off, for my own reasons, but if you feel compelled to respond you can email me at vivmuse@gmail.com.*

Categories
Chooch Consumer Info Podcast

Gone Daddy Gone

Apologies to those that tried to view my blog recently. Thanks to a ridiculous failure by Go Daddy we were down from Thursday until this morning. We switched to a new hosting company on Sunday, thinking that we’d be able to use the regular back-ups my husband has to get the sites us and running. Alas, we discovered that whatever magic he uses to make this happen had a failure of its own, resulting in incomplete back-ups and no ability to get the site up until Go Daddy stepped up and did their job.

Both Chooch and I have given folks recommendations to use Go Daddy, and if you are one of those people RUN, DO NOT WALK to another company. This uncaring company SUCKED on customer service, and left us with no help, no fixes and pathetic response time.

We’ve switched to a company that our trusted friend, Paul Fischer, gave a glowing review. I now happily proclaim that Go Daddy can go frak themselves.

Chooch is working hard to get our other sites up. In our typical luck, we had an episode of Into the Blender ready since last Tuesday that we scheduled for release on Saturday in hopes of returning to a regular bi-weekly schedule. Hopefully that will be ready at some point this morning as well.

I also ask that imhosted be gentle and kind with us. We’ve been hurt before, and badly. It may take us some time to fully trust again, but we’re willing to try.

And since I now have this great song stuck in my head, allow me to share it with you.

Gone Daddy Gone by the Violent Femmes

Violent Femmes – New Music – More Music Videos
Categories
AFI's Top 100 Movies Chooch Movies

Swing Time Review

Swing Time (1936) comes in at number 90 on the A.F.I. Top 100 Movies list, and is a charming and surprisingly sassy love story. Ginger Rogers plays the bold Penny and Fred Astaire is Lucky, the smooth talking con man.  The dancing is phenomenal, and while they are individually amazing their chemistry when together is crackling. The dialogue is smart and witty and I was surprised at some of the innuendo that was allowed.

I never thought that a movie from the ‘30s would have the protagonist be such a ‘playa’. Lucky is somewhat difficult to like in the beginning, first because he’s late for his wedding – partly due to his ass-hat friends, but in the end because he gets caught up in gambling. He is also in a heavy flirtation with Penny while he’s engaged to another woman. He keeps that a secret and is happily exploiting the chemistry that he and Penny have, because it adds to their dancing and success. Even though he shows some guilt at letting the relationship go too far (by kissing her *gasp*), he does dive in and is willing to deceive her. I couldn’t help but feel great admiration for Penny, and I was pretty pissed when he decided he was more interested in momentary satisfaction than hurting either of the two women he was deceiving.

Some interesting observations about the movie being almost 80 years old: off-screen smooching; weird hair washing and a “black face” routine. The kissing is really self-explanatory; there was no smooching on-camera. The weird hair washing was done by Penny. She started squirting something from a bottle onto her hair/scalp (while holding a conversation with another woman in her room) and started rubbing it in. I thought it was some sort of scalp conditioner until it showed her at the bathroom sink bent over with a head covered with bubbles. She was fully dressed as she walked around the apartment/hotel room with her hair lathered up. I don’t know if this was a modification made for the movie, or if this was how woman always washed their hair.

The black face dance routine was simply puzzling to me. I didn’t see any relevance for it at all, and it seemed completely random. It showed him getting ready to perform by smearing something dark on his face and I groaned, but was still unwilling to believe it. I guess it was something really popular, but I just couldn’t believe how random it was. It had absolutely nothing (that I could tell) to do with the story. And was it a coincidence that he had GINORMOUS feet and his legs were so long it took like, four female dancers to carry each giant leg off so he could actually stand up and start dancing?!? Could they really get away with that kind of symbolism in the ‘30s? Obviously portraying a stereotype wasn’t an issue, as demonstrated by the black face number.

Another surprising thing was during one of the first scenes in the movie, when Fred and Ginger first met on the street. There was a heated exchange during which a car horn was honking at the same time that Lucky’s friend Pop was seemingly using obscenities against the policeman. It just seemed so provincial that they didn’t show any kissing, when the filmmakers seemed to have had these other freedoms.

I thought one spectacular thing about the movie was that you could really perceive the mood of the dancers during their performances. It was done with subtlety and grace, and was beautifully executed. Whether excitement, joy, agitation or sadness, it was clearly demonstrated in their dancing by expression, gesture and posture, among other things. Brilliant.

Chooch pointed out that he thought that while Astaire was likely more renowned as a dancer, but that Rogers was doing essentially the same exact steps, but in HIGH HEELS. Testify!

I was a little disappointed in abrupt and overly neat ending, but it was still a fun movie. I truly enjoyed it and am thrilled it is on the list, it definitely belongs there.

My favorite line was by Lucky to Penny as they were saying their big farewell. Penny asked if his fiancee was a good dancer, and his reply was:
“I’ve danced with you, I’m never going to dance again.”

Fantastic movie, and if you are someone that likes musicals at all I suggest you give it a chance. I really didn’t think I would enjoy it beyond the novelty factor, but it was a fun and light film with amazing choreography and performances. If you don’t like musicals, you may not like it but should give it a shot. What do you have to lose?

Next up is Sixth Sense, which I’ve seen and love, Love, LOVE. I literally can’t wait to watch it again. I’ll also be posting my ranking of the Top 100 very soon. I had planned on it last week but thanks to a total and complete Go Daddy FAIL, I’m still catching up from the long downtime we suffered. Go Daddy is now Gone Daddy, and we have gone with a company that is well respected by a well respected friend.

Phew! Now I can finally go listen to Mike and Christiana’s discussion of Swing Time!

Categories
Chooch Firsts Music No Whining

My First Time Playing Bass

After watching Scott Pilgrim (one of the two times that I’ve seen it so far) I joked about picking up the bass to play because I just loved the music and the “dirty” sounding bass. I don’t know how else to describe it, so there ya go. While Chooch primarily plays bass, he also plays guitar, and was actually supportive. It was however, a joke at the time, as I’ve never played an instrument beyond the recorder (that little plastic flute thingy in elementary school). Scratch that, I taught myself to play “Memories” from sheet music. I could probably still play the beginning if a gun were held to my head, which is about what it would take to get me to do it.

Now after the awful spins and headache I had after our morning run (Couch to 5k, week 6, day 1), I knew I was going to have to cancel on the “First” I had planned for today because it was a strenuous physical activity. I was pretty stressed about it because neither of us could come up with anything free, local and not too terribly time consuming for me to substitute. I had a lot of work to do, and was behind where I wanted to be on both my paid work and school work.

Because Awesome Chooch is awesome, he volunteered to give me my first bass lesson and would learn a song from Scott Pilgrim for me to try. I spent all day working while doing laundry, and at 9 pm we headed down into the burrow for my first lesson. True to his word, he’d learned the entire song, and started me off with a very brief “Intro to Bass” explanation before teaching me the first parts. (Feel free to swap out my terminology for music terms that I don’t know.)

We worked for a little over an hour, and I loved it. It was somewhat painful because my arms and fingers aren’t long enough to play comfortably. Also, my boobs were a bit in the way and I felt pretty uncomfortable as I tried to manage all the shortages and abundances that were hindering my learning. I did learn what amounts to half of the song according to Chooch, because of all the repetition. I had hoped to be moving along well enough to record my progress tonight, but my fingers were just too sore to continue.

I’m planning on practicing a bit on my own before sitting down with him again. While he is extremely patient and encouraging, I got frustrated when I felt like it was taking me too long because I know he has to get up for work tomorrow. If I ever do get it down, I plan on recording it and maybe posting it somewhere.

The weekend is now over, and we’re snuggling up to read some more of “Ender’s Game” before resuming the grind tomorrow. I hope all of our friends and family traveling today and tomorrow arrive safely and with minimal drama.
Let no bad happen!

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Chooch Exercise Firsts Kaylee No Whining

My First Attempt at Geocaching

To remove any sense of suspense, we didn’t find either of the ones that we looked for.

Chooch and I headed out with Kaylee to a local waterfront spot with fishing, hiking trails and boat launch area where a few geocaches were located. We had a great time on this beautiful day, and Kaylee had her first river adventure. She didn’t enjoy it as much as we expected, I think because she was slipping on the slick river bottom. I think she’s like me, in that she prefers a little less nature in her outdoor adventures.

We hiked for a total of 1 1/2 to 2 hours, through some fairly heavily wooded areas. Kaylee was in heaven with all the new sites, scents and sounds, going up and over hills and across creeks. It was a truly beautiful day for a walk in the woods, with a nice breeze and lovely views. The only irritation was that our bug spray started failing after awhile, and of course, that we didn’t find the stashes.

Our main problem was that our phones kept losing the signal, and it was pretty frustrating. At the second and last location, I launched myself into the brush determined to find it. When the arrow started spinning and had me going in opposite directions, I finally decided I was done. It simply could not get us near our destination. I’m sure if we weren’t total rookies we could’ve found one, but it was a great time regardless.

As a result of the day, I officially proclaim myself to be an indoor girl. I am allergic to too many things to spend lots and lots of time outside in the woods. I have welts from where I came in contact with nature and several bug bites. I guess I would break it down as I like nature, but it doesn’t like me.

For another first, we’re settling in to watch Swing Time, and it will be my first Fred and Ginger movie. I’ve now got a migraine so may not make it through the entire movie tonight, but I’m going to try.

Categories
Chooch

No Whining

We’re not going to Dragon*Con this year. After all the fun we had last year, with a lot of the credit going to our fantastic roomies that caused me physical pain from all the laughter, it would be very easy to spend Labor Day weekend bummed out. In light of the changes I’m making in my life, I refuse to do so. I will miss my friends, the laughter and the spectacle of Dragon*Con. But I wil not spend a minute of my weekend stewing in bitterness. Life is too damned short.

Instead, there will be laundry, cooking, errands, homework, proofreading and three delicious days with my man. We’re attending a party, but otherwise have nothing scheduled. When I realized this, the gears started turning to plan more and fill the weekend until I realized that I’m thrilled that I have so much freedom. So, instead of structure and planning, I’ll be more spontaneous. In fact, the only thing I have decided must be done every day is to experience something new each and every day of the three day weekend.

Chooch and I have already decided on what one of those things will be, and it will be something we do together. Other than that, I’ll just see where the days take me.

So, no bitching about missing D*C from me this weekend and no #dragoncant hashtag on my tweets. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to be there, it just means I plan on enjoying my weekend in spite of being at home.

Safe and swift travel vibes to all that are traveling this weekend, whether to Atlanta or other destinations.

Categories
Chooch Dizzy Family Health Kids Our Kids

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

I wasn’t going to post this yet, but decided to after breaking down at the store today. What better way to purge but to write a blog? I did promise myself when I started this that it would be my true journal, if not specific it would at least document the “big” things going on in my life.

And no, there is no great tragedy here. My oldest son, jokingly known as Naughty Bear after a game of the same name, is getting his own place, has a job lined up, and will continue to take a full course load at his school. It’s all great stuff for him, and I could not be more proud or happy for him as he takes more steps into the world as an adult.

The only drawback? He’s moving out of state to the same area where his brother, known here as L.T., lives with his father, step-mother and the kids they’ve had since they married. This puts both of my sons approximately 1100 miles away, while my step-son remains 2600 miles away. This makes me a very sad panda.

He’s decided to move there for the same reason that L.T. moved there a little over a year ago. His younger siblings are growing up, and he’s missing out on experiencing it. This fact was brought home to him when L.T. returned for his summer break and we all marveled at his height and newly deepened voice.  I do not begrudge either of them the experience of deepening their bonds with their younger siblings and father. I’m simply pissed that it has to happen at the sacrifice of my selfish desire to spend time with them.

We’ve talked at length about it, and yes, I’m being extremely supportive positive and helping out where I can find ways to. He’s such a caring young man, and has even confessed that he thinks our relationship is better than ever. Our frank and occasionally uncomfortably honest conversations have bonded us even more closely, as we’ve all expressed. I’m thrilled to have this newly defined bond with him since he moved out after graduation to attend college.  However, it also makes his move extra painful for this selfish and wimpy mom.

After all, he’s my first child, and the first to forever change my heart and the way it loves, as only a child can. Having him nearby was the only thing that got me through the initial pain of L.T. leaving last year. Yes, my husband is an incredibly loving and supportive man, and we joke about our dog Kaylee being our ‘baby girl’, but come on, we’re talking about our babies.

So, if I seem to be struggling in recent and coming weeks, try and bear with me. He’s leaving in about three weeks, right before my birthday, and I’m wearing my Brave Face for him until then. That may crack from time to time with friends, so if I get too maudlin, know that my feelings will not be hurt if you get sick of it. Hells, I get sick of it so why shouldn’t you?

I’ve also started back to college on a very light schedule. I’m taking one online course and one course at the campus. That class was contingent on a discussion with the instructor, and her assurance that she will make allowances for classes that I have to miss due to my illness. She is a fellow migraine sufferer, fully understands my situation and will be flexible with me when I am unable to drive to the campus.

While I’m excited about this step in a new direction, I’m more terrified than anything. I’m scared that having to work around my newly acquired forgetfulness, inability to hold a thought, migraines, fatigue and inability to tolerate (physical and emotional) stressors will cause me to do poorly. The classes aren’t free, after all, and I don’t want to waste our money on failing a class. After long and encouraging discussions with my husband, I’m going for it, and will work hard to do well and maintain the very high GPA that I now hold.

So, that’s most of what’s going on with me. How *you* doin’?

Categories
5k Chooch Dizzy Exercise Health Kaylee

Back in the Saddle Again, Metaphorically Speaking.

If you’ve been reading about my health issues here, then you know how disgusted I am with the recently lost weight starting to creep back. I started walking again a few months ago, but it has been hit or miss. I get so dizzy that I don’t like to go by myself, and it was too much of a time investment for Chooch in the mornings before work. Yes, it has to be in the morning since he frequently doesn’t get home until 8 or 9 p.m., too late for us.

I’ve not been able to get started on any other work out plan, because I don’t enjoy anything as much as I enjoy running. Period. So after a lot of thought, I decided to re-start the Couch to 5k program, again using Robert Ullrey’s podcast. This will be the third time, and I really enjoy it. Chooch and I both had a lot of success with the slow ramp up of running time, so I broached him about doing it with me. Partially because I know he’s frustrated, and partially because of my fear of running alone. He was hesitant because of some issues with his previously sprained ankle, but otherwise jumped at the idea.

We’re on our third week now, and I am loving it. We spend more time huffing and puffing than talking, so I miss that aspect of the change from walking to running. But I just love having the time with him regardless of what we’re doing. We take Kaylee along and she is getting conditioned along with us. She loves it, and has gotten very well-behaved on the runs. Okay, so she still goes crazy if a bird, cat or squirrel get close to us, but otherwise she’s doing great. She  hardly reacts when passing barking dogs or other runners/walkers now.

Even though it’s Week 3, we re-started Week 2 since weather and special projects prevented us from doing the 3rd day last week. We are also both dealing with sore ankles from previous sprains. We are babying them, but don’t intend to stop unless there is actual pain.

I am okay for about the first half of the run, but somewhere around the midpoint I usually get dizzy. It increases to the point of nausea almost every time, but I’m not stopping. Truth is, I’ll be dizzy either way, and this feels way better than not moving does. Plus, I take great pride in the fact that we’ve fully completed each session.

I’ve not had much weight loss, only about 5 pounds, but I don’t care. I’m converting fat to muscle, my heart is pumping, it helps with stress management and I feel like I’m less of a shut-in when I do it. Yes, I’m dizzy for hours afterward. Yes, I still get migraines. I don’t expect this to really help my migraine issues, but by improving my overall health I am giving my body a treat unlike any other. I’m also enjoying more energy during the day, which is major since I’ve had near constant fatigue along with this entire health dealie. Not as much as before, but more than I’ve had for months.

I’m so grateful to Chooch for going with me on the runs. He pushes me to speed up when I’m struggling just to maintain my speed, all the while keeping a watchful eye to make sure I don’t push too hard. If I had been solo, I would have started Week 3 even though I wasn’t ready, but he insisted we do Week 2 again. He was right, but don’t tell him I said so, m’kay?

Categories
Family Mom Soulful

Never Call It A Bad Day

I’m using some of my migraine-free time to try and get us better organized, with the hopeful result being that I will be far more productive. We’ve had a lot of changes in the last year, and I’ve not kept up. While digging out from all the paper on/around/under/stuffed in/ flying around my desk, I’ve had hideous task after painful issue to clean up and deal with. Some nasty demons, and some really big disappointments in the last few days.

I had just tweeted in commiseration with my friend Jett a wish for this day to be over, as it has not been pleasant by any stretch of the imagination.  Within two hours I found a note I had written to myself sometime last year.

I was thoroughly puzzled for a moment, until I remembered a hectic day at work last year when I reached for the phone and accidentally dialed my deceased Mother’s cell phone while calling my sister’s cell. It’s happened a few times, as the numbers are identical except for the last digit being one higher. I usually curse and hang up before anyone picks up, and then lick my wounds of missing her. This time I didn’t realize I had done it until a recording played, but I grabbed a pen and wrote down the message so I wouldn’t forget it.

I’m grinning ear to ear with teary eyes, like an idiot, because this is how little it takes to make me feel like she’s still a part of my life. I’m stunned every day when I realize that my world hasn’t collapsed without her huge presence, and am never happier when the Universe brings me a smile because of her. Being reminded that, as I believe, I will feel her arms around me and hear her infectious laughter again some day is a tremendous joy on a great day, let alone a not-so-great one.

So, I’m reverting back to my old saying of “It’s Not A Bad Day Until You Proclaim It To Be One”, and never having another bad day again. Because you never know when something wonderful will happen, small as it may be, to put joy in your heart.

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AFI's Top 100 Movies Chooch

Blade Runner (97)

We watched Blade Runner (1982) last night. I’ve seen it before, but that was over 20 years ago. No, I’ve not watched it again since then. (Don’t judge me, I’ve been busy.)

I remembered the key elements – Replicants, Daryl Hannah doing gymnastics, Rutger Hauer looking fierce and Harrison Ford. *sigh* (Yes, I’m one of the kajillion girls that had a crush on him. I even watched the Frisco Kid every time it was on TV in spite of my mild aversion to Gene Wilder.)

I found the movie much more enjoyable this viewing, and picked up on a LOT more story than I caught the first time. This makes me wonder if I’d ever watched the ENTIRE movie before. It bears pointing out that Joanna Cassidy, who has been in a lot of movies but is not likely a household name (Christina Applegate’s boss in “Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead”, if that helps), had a killer body.

Ridley Scott directed, and visually it’s a very beautiful and striking movie. I giggled at the fact that it’s set in the year 2019, only 9 years away from now. It also starred Edward James Olmos and Sean Young (before she went crazy for Cat Woman). She had a very touching moment, and I had forgotten that she’s actually a pretty good actor.

My favorite line is probably Rachel’s “I’m not in the business. I am the business.”

For a more thorough and thoughtful discussion, head over to “Watch 100 Movies”, the podcast that inspired our viewing of AFI’s Top 100 Movies.